i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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