Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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