i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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