Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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