I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
