Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
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