the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
