Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
send nudes
from the living room?
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
