You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
