I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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