Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
