I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I think a kid would responsible me up
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
