their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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