I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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