so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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