Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
