omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
