i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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