One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
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