mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
