I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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