I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
