i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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