I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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