Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You're a disaster
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