Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
