Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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