If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
