Already got asked if we're dating
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.