can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party