Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.