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wrigley field is MILF paradise
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
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