I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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