Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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