I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
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