Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
