Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
