If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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