I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Let's get the cat blown out
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
