at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Randomize
