he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
