There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
