Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
