I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
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