its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
