Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
