Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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