come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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