what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
