I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
