Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
