SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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