The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
God, I missed his penis.
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