the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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