im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
