i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
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