I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
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So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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