so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
