Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
