Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
