playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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