How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
