if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize