Ambien. No doubt about it.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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