My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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