biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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