grandma shit on top of the toilet
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Randomize
