gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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