why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize