Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
