Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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