I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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