We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
