Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I cut my penus on the lid.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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