I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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