We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
