4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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